You need three versions of this, not one. Thirty seconds for when someone asks what you do, sixty for a warm introduction, and two minutes for an investor who has actually sat down. Most people write the two-minute one and try to compress it live, which is why most pitches ramble. Write all three, learn the thirty.
198 words as written41 places to fill in3 versions
Opens the free teleprompter with the script already loaded. Nothing is uploaded, and your camera never leaves your device.
THIRTY SECONDS, FOR WHEN SOMEONE ASKS WHAT YOU DO
We help [WHO] who [THE SITUATION THEY ARE IN].At the moment they [WHAT THEY DO NOW], which costs them [THE COST, IN TIME OR MONEY].We [WHAT YOU DO, ONE SENTENCE], so they [THE OUTCOME].[NUMBER][CUSTOMERS / USERS] so far, including [THE MOST RECOGNISABLE ONE].Are you or is anyone you know dealing with [THE PROBLEM]?
SIXTY SECONDS, FOR A WARM INTRODUCTION
[NAME], thank you for the time.We work with [WHO], and the problem we solve is this: [THE PROBLEM AS A COST, ONE SENTENCE].The way most of them handle it today is [THE CURRENT WORKAROUND]. That works until [THE POINT IT BREAKS].What we do is [ONE SENTENCE]. The difference it makes is [THE OUTCOME, WITH A NUMBER].We are at [TRACTION: REVENUE, USERS, PILOTS, WHATEVER IS REAL], growing [RATE] since [WHEN].The reason we are the ones building this is [THE UNFAIR ADVANTAGE, ONE LINE].What I would like is [THE SPECIFIC ASK]. Would that be possible?
TWO MINUTES, FOR AN INVESTOR WHO HAS SAT DOWN
[THE PROBLEM, TOLD AS ONE SPECIFIC PERSON'S BAD DAY. TWO SENTENCES.]That is happening to [SIZE OF THE GROUP] every [TIMEFRAME], and it costs [THE AGGREGATE NUMBER].The reason nobody has fixed it is [THE REAL REASON, NOT "NOBODY THOUGHT OF IT"].[PAUSE]We built [WHAT IT IS, ONE SENTENCE A NON-EXPERT COULD REPEAT].Here is what has happened so far. [TRACTION POINT ONE, WITH A NUMBER]. [TRACTION POINT TWO]. [THE MOST SURPRISING ONE].The market is [SIZE AND HOW YOU CALCULATED IT, BRIEFLY. NOT A PIE CHART.]We make money by [THE MODEL, ONE SENTENCE]. Right now that is [CURRENT REVENUE OR "pre-revenue, and here is the first paying pilot"].The team is [WHY THIS TEAM, ONE LINE EACH FOR AT MOST THREE PEOPLE].The risk I would want to ask about if I were you is [THE REAL RISK]. Our answer is [THE ANSWER].We are raising [AMOUNT] to [WHAT IT BUYS, IN MILESTONES NOT SALARIES].[THE SPECIFIC ASK].
Why it is built this way
1
Name the person with the problem
Start with who, not what. "We help X" gives the listener somewhere to file everything that follows. Starting with your product gives them nothing.
2
State the problem as a cost
A problem described as an inconvenience sounds optional. The same problem described in hours, pounds or lost customers sounds urgent.
3
One sentence on what you do
If you cannot say it in one sentence, the listener cannot repeat it to someone else, and being repeatable is the entire point of a pitch.
4
The proof, with a number
One number beats three adjectives. Users, revenue, retention, time saved, anything real. If you have no numbers yet, say that plainly and use the strongest evidence you do have.
5
Why you
The unfair advantage in one line. Not your CV. The reason this particular problem is yours to solve.
6
A specific ask
End with the next action, named. "I would love to send you the deck" beats "let me know what you think", which is a request for nothing and gets it.
Delivering it
·Naming your own biggest risk before they do is the strongest move in the two-minute version. It buys more credibility than any traction slide.
·Never say "there is no competition". It reads as either not having looked or not understanding the market. Name the real alternative, even if the real alternative is a spreadsheet.
·Record all three versions on camera and watch them back without sound. If you look uncertain, the words are not the problem.
·The thirty-second version should be learned, not read. The other two can be read.
·Replace every adjective with a number wherever you can. "Fast" means nothing, "under four seconds" means something.
Frequently asked questions
How long should an elevator pitch be?
Thirty seconds for a casual question, sixty for an introduction, and up to two minutes if someone has genuinely sat down to listen. Write all three, because compressing the long one live is what makes pitches ramble.
What should an elevator pitch include?
Who has the problem, what the problem costs them, what you do in one repeatable sentence, one real number as proof, why you specifically, and a named next step.
How do I practise a pitch?
Load it into a teleprompter, record yourself delivering it to the lens, and watch it back on mute first. Body language shows you whether you believe it before the words do.